


Minecart Manhunt

by yellow_heart_hero



Category: Cogchamp SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Borderline crack, Canon Compliant, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Humor, Gen, It's literally just a rewrite of a bit that happened during cogchamp, Minecraft but make it realistic (kinda), This abt the characters not the actual people, but like not crack bc its actually just what happened lmaoo, op does not know how to use ao3 tags for this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_heart_hero/pseuds/yellow_heart_hero
Summary: "Ranboo represses a laugh. He was a pretty good actor if he did say so himself.Everyone glances at one another in confusion. If someone did pick it up (Ranboo did. He has the miner), no one was admitting to it. They begin laughing, but it's clear they’re confused."or: Ranboo steals a fucking train
Relationships: All platonic relationships, Floris | Fundy & Ranboo, Fundy & Tubbo, No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & 5up, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, They're all friends ur honor, Tubbo & 5up, fundy & 5up
Comments: 2
Kudos: 110





	Minecart Manhunt

**Author's Note:**

> really didn't think i'd be writing block man fanfic but here we are ;;  
> i just rewrote the bit where ranboo stole team 5tubs minecart bc i very much enjoyed it 👍

“And this is our miner!” Tubbo announces proudly, gesturing to the contraption. Ranboo glances over the device, somewhat in awe of it. He’d seen the damage of what it could while being dragged down to the other teams mine by 5up. Fundy stood beside him, looking equally interested. “Now, I don’t wanna be a dick, but this looks like a bit of a mess” Fundy scans his eyes over it, raising a brow humorously. 5up grins a little.

“True, but you’ll see that it still gets the job done well,” 5up replies, defending their work. He’s stood near the device, fixing something on it. 

Ranboo walks around the build, peeking at the mechanics of the miner while 5up and Tubbo explain their process and add the final bits. After a couple minutes, 5up claps his hands in excitement.

“Alright, I think it’s almost ready” He glances over to Tubbo, who nods. Ranboo smiles, tapping on Fundy on the shoulder. They take a couple steps back and Fundy quickly glances between Ranboo and the cart.

“As soon as it starts?” Fundy whispers vaguely. Ranboo shakes his head.

“Wait a moment,” He whispers back. 

“Why isn’t it starting!” Tubbo cries out, sounding frustrated, pulling the scheming team's attention back over the device. Ranboo walks back over and squats down near the engine.

“Maybe it’s because it isn’t fuelled?” He suggests, pulling out some coal from his inventory. “Oh!” He stands, noticing the issue. “Or maybe it’s because there isn’t a rail under the cart,” He points out, “I think it would work better if there was a rail under the cart,” He can’t help but start laughing, and soon the whole group has dissolved into giggles.

“That would do it,” 5up replies, sounding amused. The laughter dies down as Ranboo steps back to let Tubbo place the rail. He quickly tosses some coal in the cart and the machine roars to life. Everyone collectively scrambles to get out of it’s way. “Give it a moment to righten itself!” 5up calls. The cart shakes and shudders for a moment before beginning to move forward. 5up and Tubbo let out a cheer as it starts mining. They quickly climb up onto it while Ranboo and Fundy stay on the ground to observe.

“It places the rails itself, and it has a way to keep from falling into lava. It’s pretty cool isn’t it?” Tubbo boasts from above. Ranboo hums in agreement. It _was_ pretty neat. Tubbo and 5up had a solid design, though there were definitely ways to improve it. He smiled to himself, taking mental notes. “So... that’s our design! What does your miner look like?” Tubbo asks, jumping down from the cart. Ranboo pulls away from looking at the miner, joining Tubbo and 5up in standing behind the machine. Fundy takes a bit longer, seemingly a bit absorbed in watching the cart move. After a moment he snaps out of it.

“Yeah that’s really neat...Oh- What did you say?” He glances back over his shoulder

“I said how is yours coming?” Tubbo repeats the question.

“Oh! Here, I’ll show you,” Fundy picks up the others cart to make way for theirs.

“Ope, uh. Our disassembler was in there-” Tubbo protests softly. Fundy either didn’t hear, or chose not to answer, as he just kept moving.

“Alright, here we go!” Fundy moved onto the railing and the machine popped up. Except, it was still 5up and Tubbo’s cart. He must’ve forgotten to switch out the cart, Ranboo realizes as they all burst into laughter.

“Whoops,” Fundy mumbles, smiling all the while.

“Huh! Great minds think alike I suppose.” 5up chuckles. Fully leaning into the bit, Ranboo gestures to the cart.

“So! Here’s what we got so far.” He grins. Fundy picks up on this and begins explaining the cart in the same exact way Tubbo and 5up did. Everyone follows along behind the miner, watching Fundy joke around. It falls to halt when the fuel cart bursts into flames.

“That is.. on fire. Why is it on fire?” 5up asks, clearly concerned. They all stare at it for a moment. Ranboo silently picks it up, and everyone startles.

“Where did it go?” Tubbo cries “Who picked it up?” Ranboo represses a laugh. He was a pretty good actor if he did say so himself.

Everyone glances at one another in confusion. If someone did pick it up (Ranboo did. He has the miner), no one was admitting to it. They begin laughing, but it's clear they’re confused. “Do these things just.. combust now?” Ranboo says, clearly trying to hold back giggles.

“What?” Tubbo yells loudly, glancing around as if hoping it would just pop back up.

“It had all our resources in there!” 5up protests.

“Well!” Fundy interrupts, “That was fun! But we ought to be heading back now I think!” 

Ranboo had already began to walk towards the flooded elevator, not really running, but not really slowly walking either. He looks over his shoulder to see 5up and Tubbo exchanging looks.

“Ranboo definitely has it” 5up mutters, just loud enough so Ranboo can hear. Ranboo picks up his pace as Fundy moves to speed walk beside him.

“Do you actually not have it?” He asks, counting to look behind as they walk through the mine.

“Yeah, I don’t” Ranboo lies through his teeth, knowing 5up and Tubbo can probably still hear him. As soon as they hit the water in the elevator though, he quickly muttering for Fundy to go.

They’re running as soon as they’re at the top of the elevator. He blocks off the water to slow 5up and Tubbo down. “It’s like manhunt!” Ranboo yelps as they run through the Mesa while Fundy begins laughing. 5up and Tubbo are on their tail, Ranboo knows that much. He’s gotta keep running.

“There’s the house! We’ll be safe when we get there!” Fundy points at the tall wooden house coming up in the distance. Oh man. Ranboo shakes his head, before remembering that Fundy is ahead of him.

“I can’t!” He calls. Soon enough they’re practically on top of the house and Fundy begins to slow down. Ranboo keeps going, narrowly avoiding running into him. Fundy yells something out, but he’s too far away to hear. It’s fine. He tears into the woods, unsure if the other team is still behind him. Out of precaution, he keeps going, entering the forest and weaving in between trees. 

Ranboo keeps running for a few more minutes before beginning to slow down. “I am starting a new life!” He declares to himself. He keeps moving, glancing over his shoulder. He doesn’t see 5up or Tubbo anymore, which is good. He begins scaling up a hill. “Making other people do the work for you and then stealing it is so effective!” Ranboo snickers to himself, pausing to stretch once he’s made it to the top. He peaks over the edge, noticing a pool of water. “Perfect!” He grins and jumps down into the pool of water. “I can hide the miner here, and then say I never had in the first place,” He mumbles aloud. Ranboo quickly digs up some dirt from under the water and makes a chest. He sets the chest down in the water, and then places the minimized machine inside. He grins, moving to head back, when a creeper drops down from above. Ranboo lets out a shriek, unable to get away in time for the explosion. Well. At least respawning wasn’t much of an issue here.

The respawn was quick. He sits up in his bed, sighing. He floats down the air elevator, hitting the ground with a loud thunk. He races outside, hearing complaints already.

“Ranboo! C’mon man, give us our car back” Tubbo complains as Ranboo runs past.

“Yeah, you might wanna get that cart back in time bud” Fundy adds on.

“I will!” He answers as he begins on his journey yet again. He gets back to his own stuff rather quite fast, putting on his armor as soon as he gets it. Should he return the cart though? It’d be pretty funny if he kept it, he muses in his head. But his communicator keeps buzzing with messages from Fundy telling him to hurry up, so he grabs the cart from the hidden chest and speeds on back to the house.

He hums as he runs back, ignoring Fundy’s frantic texts. It would be fine! He really wasn’t that far away from the house in the first place. He arrives back to see the front yard with all their machines empty. “Where are they..” He mumbles, before realizing they’d most likely be in the house. “Hello?” Ranboo calls up. There is a pause before he hears them all answer, talking over one another. He doesn’t try to decipher the din, and instead moves closer to the grinder he and Fundy had set up earlier that day. Finally, they all quiet down a little bit.

“You got the car Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, sounding mildly annoyed.

“Maybe!” He yells back humorously, “Come down here and find out!”

Ranboo watches as 5up and Tubbo leave the house, Fundy following behind them nervously. “Would you mind stepping over there?” He gestures over to the other side of the grinder. Tubbo raises a brow as he walks around the cogs.

“I will not be stepping into your grinder, thank you very much.” He replies. Ranboo resists the urge to snort.

“I mean, I don’t want you to step into the grinder in the first place, so that's good.” He watches as Tubbo and 5up walk around the grinder, stopping at the other side. It is purely silent for a moment, Ranboo slightly grinning as he stands behind the grinder, Fundy stood awkwardly next to him, while 5up and Tubbo glare at them from the other side. Slowly, Ranboo pulls out the sized-down minecart and holds it over the grinder. Tubbo’s eyes widen.

“Ranboo _no_ \- do _not_ drop our cart in the grinder” He steps a bit closer, eyes trained on Ranboo’s hand.

“I’m holding it hostage!” Ranboo explains, rather cheerful.

“That has literally all our resources” “That’s everything that we have!” Tubbo and 5up talk over each other, pleading to the enderman hybrid. 

“Ranboo,” Tubbo says decisively, “If you drop that minecart, we will destroy all of your things. Then we’ll _all_ be back a square one.” He moves closer to 5up, both of them pulling out flint and steel. Ranboo glances over to Fundy, who looks incredibly nervous.

“Ranboo, they have flint and steel! Our house is made of wood!” He exclaims in a hushed whisper.

“I know, but we can get stuff from them!” Ranboo replies excitedly.

“Ranboo. Our house is made of _wood_. Ya know, the extremely easy to burn stuff?” Fundy shoots back. He looks like he’s going to say something else when Tubbo interrupts.

“I would like to say that you only have a minute before we just burn everything.” Tubbo reminds them. He pauses for a second before adding, “Please just give us our cart back.” 

Fundy stares at Ranboo with wide eyes. “Ranboo _please_ . _We literally have more resources than them_ , you don’t need to do this,” He pleads. Ranboo glances from Fundy to 5up and Tubbo, and then back to Fundy.

“True, but I like making fun of the poor.” He says humorously. “ _Ranboo!_ ” Tubbo cries out, sounding mildly put off. Ranboo just snickers.

“Okay but this is still really not needed” Fundy continues to protest, despite looking like trying not to laugh.

“But you gotta admit, it _is_ kinda funny” Ranboo smirks.

“ _Ranboo!_ ” Fundy groans, sounding rather desperate. Ranboo and Fundy stare at each other for a moment, wide frantic eyes meeting somewhat amused ones. Ranboo breaks first (He always does. One of the disadvantages of being part enderman), rubbing his face.

“Fine,” He sighs, rolling his eyes.

Fundy lets out a relieved sigh, and Tubbo and 5up perk up from where they stand.

“Okay, just give me a second-” Ranboo starts, immediately being cut off by Tubbo.

“No no _no_ , you _don’t_ get a second, can we please just have our cart back?” Tubbo complains. Ranboo just laughs, climbing down from where he stood behind the grinder. Tubbo and 5up laugh as well as they move down to the grassy area in front of Fundy and Ranboo’s work area.

“But! You owe us one for this,” Ranboo tells them. Tubbo and 5up nod quickly, clearly eager to finally get their minecart back. He grins and quickly looks over to Fundy, who smiles back despite seeming still somewhat on edge. With everything said and done, Ranboo finally hands the minecart back to Tubbo. 

“If I pull out the cart, would it be the right one?” Tubbo asks, pulling out some rails and setting them down.

“Ah, yeah it is. I didn’t swap it out or anything.” Ranboo replies as Tubbo opens the cart and sets it down. When it pops up in full size and it’s the actual cart, 5up sighs in relief and Tubbo quickly picks it right back up (probably to keep anyone else from grabbing it again. Fair, Ranboo thinks).

“Well! 5up, you still have your flint and steel?” Tubbo says cheerfully, looking over to his partner. 5up grins, “I do!” They both look over at Ranboo and Fundy, who glance nervously at each other.

“What are you implying..?” Fundy asks, awkwardly laughing.

“You might want to cash in that favour now is all!” Tubbo shrugs as he starts walking towards Ranboo and Fundy’s house, 5up right behind him. “W-what?” Fundy follows behind them, and Ranboo follows behind him. They all enter the house and as they go up the air elevator, Tubbo begins speaking.

“You see, this is a bit of a house hostage-” Tubbo cuts off, bursting into laughter. “I’m just kidding, I'm not doin’ that,” He says between giggles. Everyone begins laughing as well.

“One hostage situation after another seems like a bit too much,” Ranboo jokes as they all step outside.

Tubbo and 5up smile at the other two.

“Well! While this has been fun, we’ve got to return to the mines,” Tubbo gestures vaguely to the general direction of their mine, already slowly moving towards the depth of the Mesa, “But we’ll see you around, yea?”

Ranboo nods. “Yeah, see ya around,” He replies as Tubbo and 5up slowly start to get farther away. Fundy and Ranboo wave goodbye to the pair as they walk backward for a short bit and wave back, before they finally turn around entirely and begin walking at a normal pace. 

“Okay, but that was kinda funny though, right?” Ranboo asks, turning to Fundy as they head back up the air elevator.

Fundy sighs, cracking a smile. “Yeah.. it kinda was.”

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
